And again and again …

So here comes Sunday! YAY… not =.=! Well he called me and basically told me to be there at 2pm when every one else was going to be there around 3:30pm so I was like “Err.. are you sure?” Then he was like “Yeah we still have to start the video stuff anyways.” What he didn’t tell me was that Jericho, one of our partners for our project, had the laptop we were supposed to be using for our power point =.= so basically it would’ve been me and him. So I rode the stinky bus for him and walked for about 20 minutes in the blazing heat *I stupidly wore jeans and a t-shirt so I was boiling* before I got to his house. It was lucky that his mom and brother were home or we would’ve been home alone together.. which would be bad for me anyways considering me and my boyfriend were still together. When I got inside he was there but he made me wait a while before he let me in so I was standing out there watching his little brother doing something thinking it was him haha. So after I got in his dog jumped me and I got scared cause they kept barking and my dogs only bark for like 10 seconds and then they stop when someone comes but his never shut up. I kind of fell into him afterwards so he’d “protect” me kind of thing and it worked and it was funny cause I’ve never met his dogs so I was kind of really scared. Lol anyways we went downstairs and his older brother was playing games and his mom was folding clothes and one of his dogs followed me downstairs and wouldn’t stop bothering me which was cute so I decided to play with it. Then his brother “finished” his game and left and his mom “finished” folding clothes and we were alone cause the dog left with them =.= and it was so awkward. I had no idea what to do so I sat on the long couch and he sat on the other one away from me and we kind of awkardly talked for about 10 minutes or so and then we started playing Rockband cause he got bored. Then we played the longest song ever and I was so mad! That song was making me fall asleep and he’s like “This is the song that makes me want to become a drummer.” and I’m like “Oh wow it’s so loong!” I was really that annoyed cause it was 9 minutes long! It was pretty retarded how that part went cause we just kept playing till Jericho came, which was like an hour and a half later!, and Jericho didn’t even have his laptop! So we sat down tehre playing Rockband for the longest time being not productive I was like “Aren’t we supposed to be working?” with no reply from either of them so I started texting Brianna before I fell asleep. I was half asleep, much like how I am now, when she finally texted me that she was close so I got up and he was like “Don’t leave people are still coming later” and I was like “Bri’s coming and she’s close she said.” When in all factuality she lied and she was soo not close at all so we went outside and looked and he’s like “Let’s just go inside and wait.” So I just complied with him so that nothing else could possibly go wrong but of course it did cause Brianna got cold and then I got cold so we stole the blanket from his room and shared the small couch while they did nothing but watch TV on the other one. So we sat there until Jericho went to get his sister’s laptop instead so he had to walk all the way back home and I moved to the other couch cause it was bigger and we were squished on the small couch. That “guy” walked Jericho out and by the time he came back I was on his couch laying down and me and Bri were fighting over couches so eventually he just got the small one cause I was laying and pulling the blanket. So while Bri and I were laying on the big couch, I got up cause I was even colder than I was before and I just said it out loud cause I don’t know I was thinking out loud. So I guess that gave him another signal to move onto the big couch so he moved there right beside me and I layed on him so I was warmer. Then he layed his head on mine and again since we were fighting I forgot all about my troubles with my boyfriend and I felt fuzzy on the inside and I was happy so I disregarded my guilt. Then he kind of slipped his hand under the blanket and into mine and we were holding hands while Bri who was also under the covers was watching television. So he was kind of holding me for a while and it was nice and we were playing with our fingers under the covers *I know it sounds dirty but I assure you it was innocent*. It was fun and eventually his hand somehow made its way onto my thigh really super close to that place.. which wasn’t so bad cause playing Are You Nervous? pretty much prepares you for anything. So I just left it there since he wasn’t doing anything funny with that hand anyways and then he took it off as soon as I let go of his hand so we were just holding hands after that. It was so adorable he was like a big teddy bear or something haha a molesting type of teddy bear.. LOL and then Jericho finally got back with the laptop and he left and me and Bri started text talking. She kept asking me what we were doing and I eventually told her and then somehow we switched the subject to “Who almost got there” with us and I told her the truth that he was one of them. I mean I’m not going to lie to her cause I have no reason what so ever to lie to one of my close friends :). So we got out of under the covers after *I know that sounds dirty but I assure you it wasn’t!!* we started our project again so he sat by me again cause I told him I was cold & HE CAME BACK WILLINGLY I didn’t even do anything. Techinically I lured him over there complaining that I was cold but I didn’t specifically tell him to come over and then about 10 minutes later Michelle (our other project partner) came over after she finished work and he never came back to my side. To be honest I got kind of jealous cause he likes to ignore me when she’s there and I get annoyed cause he knows how I am and he knows I get kind of jealous over him sometimes. We can’t help it though I mean we did go out twice and I couldn’t even explain to him why I left him the second times =.= *Personally I was just scared so I dumped him cause I didn’t want to get too serious without knowing for sure* So we finished the project a couple of hours later and unfortunately Brianna was the first to leave =.= and I was so mad cause I knew I’d be leaving last cause I had to wait for my mom to pick up my brother first. So we watched the finals for NBA and Michelle stayed until the Lakers won and then she left and I was thinking “I wonder what he’ll do now?” and just like I expected he moved closer to me again. Then his mother called him to walk out his guest and I snickered when he left cause I was like “What were you expecting after all that?” It was just Jericho and me in the basement and we kept talking until he came down then I called Jericho a bitch to make him stay down a little longer which got him to stay for a couple more minutes then he left. He walked Jericho out and I couldn’t stop thinking stupid thoughts about him and I was mad at him. I told him that I was mad at him and he’s like “No you don’t.” and he wrapped his arms around me and layed down with me so I was like “I’m not going to forgive you that easily.” Then he kind of kissed me on the head and I kind of fell asleep in his arms listening to the beat of his heart *I know it sounds so cheesy but it really did happen like that*. Then his brother (who wouldn’t give a shit I might add because I was with his brother before so I’d know) came downstairs to go into the laundry room and he freaked out woke me up and pushed me away. So I was really mad this time cause I was so comfortable and he just did that out of nowhere like something would happen if he saw us together, it was so dumb. Then my mom called and told me she was outside and I was like thank God so I threw his blanket on his bed and he almost followed me into his room but I left before he could come in. So he walked me out and I said bye nicely to his family and when he said bye I kind of gave him a look then I said bye then he closed the door and I was so frustrated. I even texted him on my way home and told him I was really mad at him and he was like “I knew you would be.” and I said “Then why did you even do it?” and he was basically like I like you BUT I’m not ready for a commitment and I was like then why do you keep getting close with me?! Eugh it was so stupid, I WAS SO STUPID! I talked to my boyfriend the next day since that’s what we agreed on and I told him the truth because he never lied to me so I thought I shouldn’t lie to him. And I didn’t and he got mad and we broke up for the last time because he thought I was doing it out of spite but really I wasn’t I wasn’t even thinking when I did it *Much like him and the stripper incident -__-” … he was being such a hypocrite!* Anyways I couldn’t even think or do anything for the next two days I was basically useless and crying for 5 days straight because I was so hurt and torn that we broke up. Honestly, since then I couldn’t even keep any food down what so ever I just kept puking it up and I wouldn’t even try to do that. I kept eating (not excessively) and I would just feel sick afterwards and horrible and the food would come up and I couldn’t understand this and after the 3rd day I figured it was because we broke up cause thats the day it all started. It annoyed me so much that this was happening *And currently still is happening but I can keep most food down now, some of it just won’t* and I couldn’t do anything properly so I moped and was sad but I started going out with my friends which made me feel better but the only thing I could do was think of him. Basically I was conceited, by my point of view anyways, and I could only think of myself and him which sucked cause I was depressed for like a week which is an all new record BECAUSE THERE HAS NEVER BEEN ONE! I hate that he has this power over me but we had a little talk a couple days after my week of depression and he told me he still loved me BUT we couldn’t be together until we were physically together so it would be easier. It really makes me sad that it might take a long time and I really want to be with him but I’m willing to wait for now and I hope he waits for me but I don’t know what to do :(. Anyways that’s the whole story unfortunately I sounds really really stupid don’t I? Haha well hears a song to go with my mood so enjoy it 🙂 or don’t I’m not in a caring mood at the moment.

I chose this one so you could watch it in a higher quality :).